You Don't Know Me

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 18:28:21 GMT

cough

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 21:12:09 GMT

http://www.livejournal.com/users/fericirea_love/

add kelly <3

i actually intend on moving to this one..Lo,.l

lemme c ya 1 - 2 step

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 23:59:16 GMT

i miss Ed. lmao.
i woke up at 7:30 yesteday and I couldn't go back to sleep because I kept thinking about him.
oh jeeeez.
\today was eh. the highlight was seeing sams cat.
\HESASEXYBEAST
oh and ive been able to hold my gerbil and junk.
handling every day is paying off.
lalala.,<333\
kaayypee

wee gathherr tommoroowww

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 00:32:33 GMT

Shammy is like bffs with the gawthic people. she seriously is.
it's just weird...
lmao.
haha Anthony is weird he was quoting pulp fiction and the bible.
it sounded really cool though.
he was all HE WHO WALKS A HUMBLE PATH AND BATHES IN THE RIVERS OF GRATIDUDE...
lmao i was like
YYYYYEEEESSSSSHHHHH PRAISE DAH JESUS.
lammaaoo
gggggeeetttttttttttttt meeeeeee thrrrru this one.
lmao Nicole (not cola) was being mean about eddie i was all" yesh he is sorta greasy but i love him"
It was fairly sincere...
oh yea and i ran 1/2 a mile in 3:38
i have to get 3:30 next time.
but i'd prefer 3:00
i am trying harder next time. i didnt strech enough before either.
streching really helps. :
asddfjkl;
waahahjhaa

get get get get over it

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 00:55:45 GMT

I like him so much and want to get to know him and talk to him and have him tell me how he feels.
It sucks though he has fucking 90000000 groupies.
Now I realize what an idiot I was last year and I never got to actually know him.
But i can actually talk to him and i want him to feel the same way about me that i feel about him.
I just want to be able to get to know him and talk to him as much as I can but theres these girls that are all “oohh eddies soo cute eifmnsnfs”
And I feel like shit cuz why oh why couldn’t I try to talk to him last year cuz now I do he’s so easy to talk to I never realized it.
I actually have respect for him, I hope he realizes this.
That I am not his fucking groupie.
I really care about him.
ERGGHH YOU DON’T FUCKING MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU BUT FUCKING EXPLOITING YOURSELF IT TAKES WORK AND EFFORT FROM BOTH PEOPLE.
You like them, they like you.
You get to know them…
I mean I love my gym friends I really do they are great girls they are my friends.
But they act just like I did last year.
Except it is far worse.
Sigh….i’m just going to let whatever happens.
I am not going to worry/think about it.
HEY IN OTHER NEWS MY SOCCER TEAM DIDN’T LOSE AANND I GOT TO PLAY STRICKER WHOLE SECOND HALF. Even though I know I am not very good and pretty clueless, I appreciate it so much when and even if coach puts me in. I am just happy to be on the team. But seriously It was amazing being in for more than 5 minutes.
i know i am not that good at soccer now, but next year on VJ when some girls go to Varsity i hope to be a better asset.
i can't wait until capatin practice next year.
i intend to join some spring leaugues too...
i am willing to work hard to get better.
i reallly love soccer.
it's such a thrill...:D

you got me up against the waaall up against the waall

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 00:34:39 GMT

aggwagga;K;FDFJ <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I'm weird.
i got like 4 hrs of sleep
basically i stayed on the computer from like 8pm-4am or somthing.
lmao and i didnt even do much...
only i can spend 8 hours on the computer doing absolutley nothing.
but i think i may like someone whose name starts with an...A. a male. HAHA I LOVE MAKING PEOPLE GUESS EVEN THOUGH THEY PROBABLY DON'T REALLY CARE.
kelly is pimpin' around the world.
i hate typing.
hunt and peck hunt and peck <3
well i'll probably be on till like 12 tonight.
and iwannagetsickidontwantmondaytocome
i am failing ATLEAST 2 classes.
joy
<<<<<<<<<,,,3333333
bob

when the pimps in the crib ma drop it like it's hot

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 02:29:10 GMT

i got a gerbil (boy)
YAYAYAAY.
i <3 him

it's like raaa-in on your wedding daa-aay

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:59:39 GMT

wahhh ahh haaaaa
one day i think I'm done liking Ed then I fall in like all over again.
i just like being one on one with him.
he's a really good listener.
he actually listened AND responded to me.
we like communicated.
that doesn't happen a lot with me.
maybe it's the fact that i like him but i'm not like obssessed with him.
then, i couldn't even talk to him or i'd die.
but i just want to get him know him more..
i'm not going to be like shannon and put myself all over him.
that may work for a little while but not in the long-run.
haahaaahh i'm mad dumb. ;/
soo today in gym we did soccer shooting. i got 7/10 goals :/
well there was four goalies. but the ones that missed were long. (away from goal)
and i swear i had one more shot the dumb teacher wasn't keeping traacck.
but that's still okay cuz the majority of people had like four and a few
had like two. but svet had like 8 and ashely garcia had like 7. that girl can kick.
holy fucking shit. i give her my fucking respect. she kicked better than svet but some of her kicks
went over the goal, to the side ect but w/e.
seriously tho i can kick better with my left foot than some can kick with
the foot they actually use...but maybe they are using the wrong foot idk.
anyyways i felt really awful yesterday a girl quit the soccer team because people were saying
Jesus Christ so she got really offended.
I mean i said it a few times usually under my breath and it didn't seem like a big
deal to me, but i can't help feel really guilty. it's horrible to
think someone could get that upset over it. I hope i wasn't the only
one who said it {:/
wwaahh.
anyways I LOVE FRENCH WITH A BURNING PASSION.
J'ADORE FRANCAISSSSSSSSSSSSSS OUUUIIII
heh. oh and yesterday i was singing in french i always do french makes me excited.
but i thought i liked someone ...you dont know him..(...or do you??)
hmmph.
well bient^ot my loves,
PARENTS NONE SAT-MON documentaryyyyyyy. <3
<<<33333333333333333333333333333

HEH school isn't a big deal. 18 and you're out. i can't make a big deal.

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 21:04:57 GMT

soccer is ok though.
sure we've lost every game but i'm still having fun...
i feel involved.
i love soccer now.
i've really refound my love for it.

since i lost you i lost myself

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 01:41:25 GMT

err wtf no gerbil yet...Maybe this week though.
as long as no teachers call my house..
YAY this Sat/Sun/Mon I get to do my documentary cuz my parents are going away.
SWEEEEEEEET.
oh..what was i gonna call it.
oh yea.
...Welcome to Teen Angst High.
or something like that...
ch..and the project probably isn't due till the end of the quarter.
but it won't be a while before both of my parents go away so yah..
i'm excited.
ahshda but sad. i made a memorial thingy for my hamster it's pretty.
I swear to God I cry every single day.
it's just a part of my routine
a bientot.
<3 K.V

Kevin Johnson looks a bit like Tyson (s/p?) Ritter doesnt he?

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 00:25:31 GMT

i'm geting a gerbil tommorow. via petco.
JHDSjd babbiiesss.
i miss my hamster i loved him but he was definetly worth having.
he was such a sweetheart.
and i hope to have many memories with my new baby.
<3

i aint cuttin' cuz i ain't gunna do that shit. noh.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 00:12:36 GMT

ran/jarged trois miles non-stop. running long-distance is my only talent.
I AM GOING TO HURT TOMMORW. lol
but it was cool i was in the top trois with Jess M and amazing full-back
Becca.
I'm def. doing track in the Spring.
I'm way confused about Cross Country so I'll wait until next year for that.
but um overall practice was good, Coach got us Gatorade and we watched a
video about some kids whose teamates drowned and then they become
champions and stuff.
sad stuff.
I was scared i was going to get a panic attack because after running and being active and then just being in a small
room and stuff I get a bit claustrophobic.
eheheeh.
but WTF I WAS SO PISSED IN GYM. we didnt do anything we looked at some sheet and
the lady talked to some dude.
i was so hyper it fucking sucked. i even started to do some crunches and
leg lifts as a way of protest.
"IF YOU ARENT GOING TO LEAD ME IN PHYSICAL EDUCATION THEN I CAN DO IT MYSELF."
something that sux though i left my soccer ball at practice so i can't really practice over the weekend
unless I kick my ball that i used in like first grade around..
and we have a really old crappy one but the size is at least a 4.. maybe a 5 idk.
OH YEAH AND AT SAMS YESTERDAY I PUT 51 PENCILS IN MY HAIR. randomn.
but i swear i am going to find the world record for that and beat it. and if there
isn't one already i can make it up.
heh. i found out the name of the boy i want to do in dah ass. (aka like)
daann. but he may be hanging out with Bev and thems and I just can't stand those like faux
gawths ya know what i mean..?\
but AW HES CUTE ILH. dhdbhasbdhadbmnsd ad adiadj <<,333
fjfsnj klj
it's different than Ed cuz I was like insane for him. this boy just makes me feel warm and
fuzzy inside.
but i still have edwood in the corner of my eye but i am not completley focusing on him.
I KNOWS YOU KNOWS EVERYTHING.
there's also a boy andy i think I might like, but as a friend may-b
i feel like infatuatory whore.
geeh.
and i discovered my true calling i'm going to be a French teacher.
i am in absolute love with french.
J'adore Frannncciaaasss,
:D
Au'revior my loves.
Kell.

eww i saw a girl wearing the finch shirt i own...that ruins my life.

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 01:57:23 GMT

For English I'm doing a documentary on school violence and dah Columbine.
I can't wait to get started... I didn't like Micheal moores version HE'S LIKE 40. I want to make a relatible video. and i'm going to try hard to make it artsy, I'm going to film 8000000 things. I have SOO many ideas it's ridicuols. AND DAH CAMERAS WORKS TOO I TESTED IT. but i have to be very careful.
Too bad my dad doesn't know I'll be using his camera for a few weeks.
I bet he won't notice.
and if he does i'll be like I WAS LOOKIN' AT IT GEEZ.
heh. anyways soccer isn't that good but i can't complain.
i have a feeling coach only puts me in cuz he kind of has to i'm on the team and i don't complain.
i'm just really bad.
but i def. have to go to practice tommorow. i wouldnt miss it even if i got shot by sum thugs.
heh.
SAMS CAT IS MY LOVER. I <3 BOY CATS.
oh yeah some kid jumped into my yard (over a 6 foot fence.) my mom went hysterical.
;FDD=
keyboarding fucking sux. my palm is like fucked,

my eye is twitching

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 23:44:40 GMT

ahh i was singing Bitemarks and bloodstains..or w/e
haha and Judas Priests Turbo lover.
I love those music choice channels i need to get a schedule.
i cut my hair it looks nice.
my hair can be worn in a lot of ways and with a bit of combing my hair can be BROWN or it can be BLOND.skills.
now im going to google for friggin synster gates and stuuff
bye.

CRACK A SMILE...JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 01:58:55 GMT

today was incredibably exciting.
i kicked a soccer ball with my shin, ate pie and watched americas next top model all day.
Nihemas stupid she shouldn't have one.
she pisses me off lyke wicked bad.
my computer freezes a lot. :O
so i am making this shooort.
i want synster gates from a7x like bad .
hah.
umm those girls are starting to leave me a lone dem fuckin cunnttzz
anyways i hate those girl rachel she was fucking nice to everyone last year now she's acting like a stupid bitch.
people
and i think that boy in my history class is SINNGGLLEE. im gunna fuck dat.
hah.
annyywaay au'revior and crap till next time
\ps ILUVALLSYOUGUYS
and im trying to write a poem about sinful lust that isn't trashy. it's hasrd.

2 hours later my computer fianlly works...

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 01:52:03 GMT

the week of death. like woah.
you have your 9/11 your Ms.Benoint, my Pepe (Grandpa), my friends dad, my neighbors dog and MY FUCKING LITTLE BABY.
I am probably missing some too.
and in case i havent told you (though i probably have) my hamster died yesterday.
idk how stupid you think it is but I LOVED THAT HAMSTER SO MUCH.
he was like my baby. honestly. it's like having your baby die. but there was nothing I could do...I know he was gone. he had just felt so cold, so weak. and even the way he was laying before i left for the library. on top of all his sheets.
but i didn't think he would die. I didn't think reality would come. I've had so many great times with my hamster.
buying his cages, kissing him, that first time I took him home and he climbed the cage like mad. the poop he got on the carpet from rolling around in his ball. His little toy car he rode in, the space on my dresser that will never be filled. Laying with him in the cool autumn weather under the tree in my front yard. spinning him round and round like mad in his ball. taking him for walks in my kitchen and dining room.making him a dress to wear. showing him to people when I had nothing to say. he was my saftey, my comfort. he was always there to help me through tough times. whenever i couldn't talk to someone, felt socially akward i would take him out and show him to everyone. it made me feel more comfortable. he was my friiend, my love.
It does seem so long ago when i first saw him in the pet store. a shy hamster, a curious hamster, looking right at me.
I'll miss feeding him, seeing him, cleaning his cage (i cleaned it over 100 times.) the joy of returing from a trip and scooping him into my arms, safe and sound. he always felt so safe, comfotable, familiar. there was nothing to worry about. I would hold him when I had panic attacks, i held him when i thoguht there was no one in the world. i geniually love him as much as anyone could love a hamster. maybe more.
i loved him so much, i always will. his memory will stay with me forever.

I couldnt understand why he didn't move when i poked him with my pencil. why he was so stiff. I couldn't belive my baby, the hamster i love so much was just an expanse of matter, nothing. no soul , no heart, nothing. it is the worst feeling in the world. i can barley see the keys on my keyboard...
i could never describe how i felt, in the garage , bawling my eyes out.

death is so cold. I just hope my hamster is happy wherever he is. I hope God takes good care of him. or whoever. (insert tears here)
i just hope he's okay.

christopher is biga wad for life for shizzle my nizzle

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 19:16:49 GMT

today was okay.
I think the ghetto people may hate me less.
except for one girl with a big forehead.
but idk.
keboarding was awful. a pain in the WRISTS. and there is some girl stalking me. she has like mental issues. i dont even know her but she like follows me around and acts like i am her best friend. but she is...special.
so w/e
ummm anyways the librarys keboard sucks it is hard to type..
later.

updating life

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 02:41:08 GMT

I feel better now..because
I thought of all the good stuff that's happened.

I got my notebook pimped
I have hugged Ed White three times, and he's hugged back. ;)
I patched things up with Kara
I have a solid possee of friends
I made friends with some creepy girl in gym class, she asked for my # (lol+ and -)
French class is totally the best
The boy in my history and English class is totally delicious
My mom is totally guilt-trippin' and feeling bad more me so I get stuff
forshizzle my nizzle

but i still
suck at my math class, have been late twice
my hamster only has a week
and some stupid bitches want to bang me and call me a lesbo.
and i missed my first soccer game because i was literally crying my eyeballs out of their sockets

well let's see what happens monday.
it could be good or bad
HEY TUESDAY IS TAC. i love the library so much. idk why.
good computers, good food, good friends, good books.
even though i have 9 dollars in fines :O
k, later people are trying to im me..

piss

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 22:58:21 GMT

shit. i am so jadded right now.
he's such a slut
an attention slut
le bastard
le fool
but he's so cute
his hugs are okay.
ah. i'll let shannon have him
and when she becomes le typically bitchy girlfriend
i will get him.
i have to wait
in a line of apes.
it's not fair.
this is so immature it's disgusting.
putrid.
i am not going to be one of THOSE PEOPLE
i may have a life now kind of though.
ehhehh i was fine w/o one.
ShIt
but noin, i'll lay back, do as i please.
let them all make le fools of themselves.
BUT I COULD GET A LIFE.
no.
no.
life or no life idk.
i will not join.
w/e happens does.
GODAMN THIS IS LE LAME.

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 21:41:09 GMT

ahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

MY EYES

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 00:06:26 GMT

oh yea btw I have a new aim sn : Chair Fan XD , because I hated my old one.
stfu i hate editing entries.

livin aftah midnight

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 00:03:29 GMT

UGH at my grammas all my family talked about was Katrina , Bush and all that political shit. Like they actually know anything about it.
its like WELL GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING. lol.
me and my cousin aaron and my dad threw some rocks and sticks that was fun. Then Aaron was holding my hand that was pretty akward and I hate having my hand held anyways. fff dhs. (btw Aaron is my mentally challenged cousin- he's 21 or 22 or so.)
dwndadh
as for soccer I still suck badly, but I am definetly not the worst one on the team. i'm in the bottom quarter probably but there's like 2 or 3 people I may be better than.
hah, anyways I'm happy I really love soccer. I think I have some potentional.
A lot of family (cousins) have been really really great at soccer, you go over their house and there are dozens and dozens and dozens of trophies.
fnsae zyuhs I REALLY WANT THIS.
i definetly need help, but I am definetly not going to complain.

estrogen D

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 23:53:35 GMT

MY DAY BY KELLY ANNE PIGEON
I arose (whaa) at approximently 5:00 am , took a shower and YES BALMED AND BLOW DRIED MY HAIR. what I need is a straightner though.lmao i wore the same shirt i wore on the last first day of school but w/e idc The bad part was there was hamster piss on it. I mean, it's not all that noticebale but yeah. I guess I forgot to put it in the wash...
then I ate shit and went to school
homeroom is like a 2 minute walk not even from the door i entered in, so i didnt have to like go to the other side of the school.
anyywwaayyyys.here.
Per 1 Eng. some dude : wrote about a chair HELL YEAH I LOVE CREATIVE WRITINGN DATS MY SHIT DATS MY SHIT. anyways i was like it's a chair.. yet it's more than a chair. it's a new chair. It represents a new start, money, power. and yet we as people don't care about the chair. we only care about it's comfort and not nessciarly what it looks like or if it's care is mantained or not.
then it was next period i wasnt quite done.but I think i wrote a little better than that. but i <3 creative writing.
per 2: world history. OMFG THE BOY SITTING IN FRONT OF ME WAS nice.
haha oh yea BETHANY IS IN ENGLISH AND WH YEAH YEAH .
and so is kayla Pavao. IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE THE GIRL I REALLY DO. and she's just one of those people I knew in like ...5th grade.. but she is pretty vain. in her own way. I would kind of put her in the gothic category (yeah leave me alone i can streytype people if I WANNA BITCH.) but a girl is wearing a FOB shirt ( dont get me wrong i really like FOB) but Kayla was all "stares OMFG FOB ROCKS."

and it's like bitch you dont know shit bout FOB just cuz a kid whips a band shirt on that you know doesn't mean you fucking obsess over them.
like that boy was wearing a white zombie shirt (RZs band ) and i didnt go " OMG I <3 THEM DOO DOO TOO HUMAN FOR HUMAN (sorry i butchered that a lot)
i swear to god i'll wear a good charlotte shirt or some unextremly hardcoreish band and she'll be like GCCGGCCCCC PUNKZ RAWK.
i dunno lmao i just think band shirts are getting overatted (LOL EVEN THOUGH I WORE ONE)
then...keyboardin. i sat next to shannon tate and godamn i got the fucking shit annoyed out of me. all during assembly she was like.. nudges. stares. nudges. pokes. kicks my foot. tries to be funny. and she repeats jokes that i say and says it to someone else. I just find that degrading. i mean i <3 shannon really she is friends with some of my friends and hey I have no right to judge her. and she's a big catty. too many teen movies. BUT WE ARE TEENS oh shit i sound like a bitch.
ASSEM. omfg MARVIN BARNS > YOU he was a character. BUT I SWEAR TO JESUS THE PRIN. MR.M REMINDED OF DR.EVIL SO MUCH , WITH HIS HAND GESTURES AND SPEECH EVERYTHING. DR EVILS EVIL TWIN BROTHER.yeah
THEN p/e even though I like to call it gym. i got the shit annoyed out of me sitting next to these girl pimps that arent attractive at all and talk about how they love to 'torture boys" basically it's fourth grade all over again. goooodddddd. BETHANY IS THE ONLY COOL PIMPETT.
lol.
FREENNNCCCHHH: i really loved that class a lot, im going to love it so im going to stay. it fucking owned your face.
lunch. SAT AT THE TABLE WITH THE "SPECIAL" PEOPLE WHY I SAT THERE IDK...some of my Gs were sitting there for some reason.
Shannon was there, and really I laughed the whole lunch between 9 people entertaining each other . then they were making fun of this girl (with the catty, immature, teen movie thing again) and calling her names and stuff. and then wtf i go "ThAt ShIrT mAkEs HeR lOoK pReGnAnT." (she really did though, it was way too small.) but I think i said it too loud b/c the girl came over. but anyways she went off on shannon and how shannon "stole" (not literally) her purse. hah. ccccaaaatttttyyy or caddy hm idk.
sigh. SCI. i was late. it sucked but not ina bad way just in a sucky way.
Alg2: nothing special there but i saw some of the people i love so dearly so yay.
ahaaa soccer practice was awful. first of all i had to ride my bike and I only had like 15 minutes to get there so I basically peddled as hard as i could . and when I got there we ran and I felt so sick. I got like chills and then I got hot. kind of like when you have the flew. but I know it's from tiredness. and wtf I have like 12,000 blisters on my feet. ouchie. I try hard not to pick them, but I am gross and I tend to pick blisters. ugh but i was bad at practice b/c I felt like crap and the fact I have no skill in soccer. HEY I CAN ONLY GET BETTER. but hey this is an oppurtunity i really want and need to take I'll do the best I can and I really want to do this. whatever happens, happens.
theen idk went to walmaht. my neck hurts from sitting in the freaking seats in the audtorium. aldrichs ssseats are 99000x better.
well thats enough
bye i luv you
au' revoir
or something along those lines.

aww daniel johns is so cute too bad he married a friggin model what a bitch >:O or is dating ))

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 23:53:53 GMT

i am damn screwed bitches.
haaahaa I only have done like half of my school clothes shopping.
waaah I wanna go to the Emerald Square mall.
but yea anyways I'm definetly not prepared in any kind of respect.
but idc it'll be okay riiight

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 01:11:30 GMT

January. is death. Mistakes and accidents. wooden desks sinking in the snow. she waits. for the wind to blow her over through the window. rocks cluster at her feet. breathe. warm air in her hands. fuzzy hat child removes from head. cool breeze through her. snow angles with bloody noses. bitter-sweet. tree fallen in road. waiting waiting waiting.

febuary :purple stars. let's sit on the dirt road. raccoons crisp. let's share. let's give. take. sit and enjoy life. sing and laugh as you see the groundhog rise and wait for the sight of sun beyond the clouds.

March: wooden bridges. the cool singing of birds. graveyards. white lillies . crickets. half moons. soft whispers. soft tears. gentleness. acheving. beliveing in life. your life. others deaths. learning to cope and embrace.

April: run away. escape. bordeom , longing. sit by the pond. cool water. wet dew on the ground. muddy rocks. longing air. smoothness. satin,silk. sky. mother nature spreads her loving wings and showers us with her dazzling gifts. I love he.

May: cookouts, baseball caps, hotdogs. sun,moon . warm blankets. child. beautiful flowers. balck coal. the hard green grass. golfing, tennis white. hugging, hand shakes. green, warmth, glasses. large open spaces. meadows and softly rolling hills. pure.

June: excitement, newness. warm grace. humid. anger, rage. hands. waving. goofbye. hello. perms, pools, ladders, cahirs. towles to sit on. rocks at our feet. I hate you, i love you. go away, stay.

July: joy , fear. unexcpetedness. suprises. bad and good. shiney new cars in their driveways. fakness. fake pearls, fake smiles. lies. one piece bathing suits. vans,trucks,cars. large rocks. light, foggy,misty. hope and more fear. embarssement,shame. balconies.

August: orange sun. yellow sun. savannah, yellow ground. animals, hoses, activity,planes. lint, wax. hate in the back of my mind. toes curled. sweat on back of neck. idleness. lazniess. business. ,mixed.

Sptember: bretahing, stone, stairs, trashcans. french fries, lovers, pens, books, hallways. french kissing, street signs. old cars. old houses. susty. duster. living. giving. staring into space. cats. tails. long and thing. trashy.

October: leaves, blackness. fear, cries, despair,pain, worried,emotions,stars,blankets. thin blankets. straw, hay . dead grass. luxurious food. silver platter. door bells. tears.

November: bread, margarine, idle. drugs, loss, fakeness, worry, telephones, anxiety. depression. brown. old yet new. skin, streching. woods in the open. fallen stump carelessly tossed aside. no remorse.

December: treason, giving, looking, searching, praying. worrying. distance, remotness. mails, beauty, passion, hot water. tiles, scarfs. his body against mine. no apologies. love, sex, pills. my fingers in his hair. he tells me he loves me. reading a book by the fire. wax, candles. shelves with books that are never really read. hardcover, never paperback. expensive, cold. delicious. desire, obsession. fate. mountains between us. let's not forget what we have. it's something special.

wow yeeah